10 Calming Phrases for an Anxious Child

What are the first phrases that come to your mind when you hear your child is anxious about something? Perhaps, you may want to say “It’s OK”, “Don’t be afraid” or even “Don’t be silly!” And now try to recall situations when you were anxious and these phrases helped you to feel better. Can you? No. Because they don’t work.

Here is the list of ten simple but useful phrases, which will help your child to feel better and will straighten your relationship.

1. “I’m here with you. You are safe.”

This is the most essential feeling for a child. And this phrase is a really powerful affirmation.

2. “Tell me about your worries.”

Don’t interrupt and don’t try to give advice and immediate solutions. Just listen passionately for your kid. Sometimes it may be enough just to listen. You’ll see how your child will feel better and may even invent his own solution.

3. “Sometimes I feel anxious too. I know it’s not fun.”

It’s so important for a child to know he is not alone in his feelings. And the fact that a grown-up, a reliable and secure figure, may also express the same feelings is very supportive.

4. “This feeling will pass.”

Every feeling comes and goes, and the anxiety won’t last forever. This is simple evidence for a grown-up, but a significant phrase for a child to hear.

5. “What will happen next?”

Sometimes both children and grown-ups are nervous about some upcoming event, and all the other aspects of our life seem to disappear when we are concentrated on this only occasion. Let your child realize that life will go on anyway and there is no need to overestimate the meaning of this event.

6. “Let’s draw it!”

A simple and common way to fight fears and anxiety is to draw these feelings. If your child is not keen on drawing, you may offer to express feelings by making some crafts like collages out of old magazines or cotton pads. The aim is to make the feeling visible and concrete. Once your child has a worry character, he can talk to it or just chase him away.

7. “Who is unstoppable?”

“I am unstoppable!” “Yes, I can!” “I’m a superhero!” Invent a battle cry that will raise your child’s mood and self-esteem. Have you seen warriors in movies that yell before joining the battle? Scientists say that the act of yelling actually replaces the feeling of fear and anxiety with endorphins. Besides, it can be your funny supporting tradition.

8. “I can’t stop thinking about the moment when…”

Another strategy is to change the focus and dream together about some pleasant moments in the future. This works when you have to distract your child (f.e. in a queue for vaccination). Make sure you have already tried the above points. Counting the number of kids, the cars on the parking, etc. is also a distraction technique that often works well with toddlers.

9. “Close your eyes and imagine…”

This is a powerful meditative technique that brings your child into some warm and calm place where he can feel safe and comfy. It may be your child’s happy place or some invented nook. Describe it in detail for your kid to visualize it and stay there together for some time. Tell more about smells, light, and sounds to make the feeling of presence more real.

10. “I am already proud of you”

Seldom, kids are afraid not to meet the expectations of the grown-up, and it provokes stress and anxiety. It can never be too much love and support, so don’t hesitate to assure your child you are proud of him, no matter how things will go during the event or action he is anxious about.

Actually, these are phrases that even grown-ups would be happy to hear when they are worried about something. Remember that only you know better which phrase and technique are appropriate for your kid at that very moment. Feel free to try them all and invent your own. Try hard to be the accepting and supporting person that every child needs.